Nancy L DeMoss shared a story in this section that I can relate to. She was tired, yet she had a conference to lead. Once she made it there after spending time with the Lord asking if she should go, asking for strength and all; she says she could have told them she had avoided all the 'Pitfalls of ministry.' She did not, she humbled herself before the Lord (roof off) and before the people (walls down) and I think she had a brilliant time.
Here is my story; back in the day when I taught the Word I was not always as prepared for the study as I should have been. This was a problem especially when I was in college, teaching a Uth group, a co-ed college group and had a guys study. There was a lot going on at the time. Sometimes I tried hard, and others I just did not for a myriad of reasons.
I ironically found that the best studies were the ones I was inadequately studied for. Once the deadline was up I was on my face before the Lord pleading for something to say. When all was said and done I think He was kind enough to bless the people. He fed them in spite of my poverty. And I gleaned something too. It was pleasantly thrilling,being a conduit, saying things I was sure I knew nothing about, things I may have remotely mused on but had conclusions and advice spilling out - and I had no clue! I said to myself, "this should never happen again." It did, many times. All the time it was a humbling experience, how the Lord would use an inadequate vessel.
Thinking back on it now, yes it was irresponsible not to study. The Lord came through for His people. One of the reasons the studies were so good was because I came to them empty and humble. I had nothing to offer, and I knew it. When I studied I felt I had something to offer, in my subconscious I said, "Listen to what I have to say to you," not so much what the Lord had to say. On the surface I was submitted to the Lord, but I do not think I was. I am convinced I wasn't. Except for those days when I had nothing to say, then I was submitted out of necessity.
The honest part was that I did not want the Lord to look bad, I am sure I am/was a bad teacher (I didn't study! HELLO!); no need to convince me of that part. So I could earnestly say, "Lord your name is at stake here." And He heard that. He showed up and fed His flock through me, in spite of me. Those are the teaching people spoke of for days. Maybe they did stick to the good ones then huh?
I have not taught for at least a year. So much had been worked on in me. If I ever teach again, I pray I will always be in a humble state of mind, "Lord it is not me. It is You. I have nothing to offer. You do. Your name is at stake."
"Take me, break me, mold me and use me. I want to do thy will oh Lord..."
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