Victory is...

How do you beat an unbeatable foe?  I play video games, in one of my (wife's) hack/slash games there is a 'boss' that when you are not attacking will regenerate.  How do you win?  In another game, car racing this time the challenge is to beat 14 cars in a single lap starting from position 15.  I am driving a Honda Civic, and the cars on the track range from Mini Cooper through RX-8, Nissan GT-R and Audi A8 (or TT)  Did I mention I am driving a Honda Civic!  How do you win?

Many times I have turned this over in my head.  My enemy is stronger than I, period.  He can wait me out, always.  I am flesh and blood, I get tired.  My appetites will get the better of me, no two ways about it, if not today then tomorrow.  I will say no for many many days, but they are not many enough to be all my life...how do I win?

Jesus said to a woman caught in adultery, the same thing He says to us every time we stand before Him to repent (or say sorry because they are different - a procrastinated blog entry) - "...I do not condemn you, go and SIN NO MORE." emphasis mine, John 8.  The man said go and don't do it again.  How do I win?

I feel foolish asking forgiveness sometimes.  Because I know and He knows I will do it again.  My pastor and I think Paul says sin while inside Grace is a slap in the face of said Grace.  How do I win?

I have found no answers, I have no suggestions.  Nothing, just maybes...Maybe victory is not always beating your foe small as the dust and blowing them away.  Maybe victory is not cutting off a giants head to a cheering crowd.  Maybe victory is fighting and getting licked good and proper, and then coming back for more.  Maybe the victory is in the fight and not so much in finishing it on top.  Maybe...I win every time?  Maybe that just helps me sleep better.

How do I win?

"How shall I do this O Lord...?"

Every once in a while my friends and I enjoy these amazing Spiritgasm conversations.  One of us has a question, a problem or just a random statement that has us digging our noggins and by Grace we come to these wonderful nuggets of the knowledge of the Lord, each other and/or ourselves.

I am a word processor; things make more sense in words.  I talk ideas out, (to myself if I have to) problems and solutions too, and so these conversations are wonderful when they happen.  Not often enough I say; but if we had the Z4 everyday it would not be a special day drive now would it?  Familiarity breeds contempt, some dead guy said.  So, what happened...How shall I do this, by living according to your Word?


I always vote for Grace, and this is my defense.  I do not live by His Word when/where it really matters.  At best I try and make a D for effort.  They say He still loves and sometimes I believe that and live loved.  My own study leaves me confused on average and so I plead Grace and trust that it covers ALL things.  "I believe, but help my unbelief."


You know what, that helps, I needed to hear that.


Really?  I must say that is the most honest statement of my faith I think.


I need to remember that His Grace is sufficient and there is nothing I can do to make myself presentable to the Lord.  The price has been paid in full and I should not let my condemnation stop me from approaching His throne in prayer.


Who are you to turn you away from His love?


I just remembered last night in the midst of some dark stuff; Jesus is my friend.  I think of God the Father and tend to forget Jesus though I know full well He died for my sins.


I am glad He can be that.  I focus on the Judge, the Almighty and forget Abba - Daddy dearest.  I forget too that Christ called us His friends.  He is not God in Heaven far far away, He is Immanuel, God with Us here in the dirt.


I need specific direction, and I am going to ask the Lord for it.


He gives not just good gifts, but the best and most necessary things when we ask.  He has a way of giving us our vitamins with our favourite juice!


I am going to go ahead and do that.


So be it.

Woza Friday my skinny bahookey!

Johnny Clegg and Juluka told the story of men who worked hard(er than I have ever done) all week and longed for Friday so much that they would sing, "Come soon Friday my darling...my sweetheart."  I enjoy my work, I enjoy my time off work, but I will not join the 'Living for Friday' bandwagon.

I work all week.  Every morning I grudgingly wake up, grunt until I leave the house.  Wear my cordial face and enter into the workplace.  I have stuff to do, deadlines to meet and the like. It is a literal rat race.  I enjoy it because I know it is necessary and beneficial to more than me and my well being.  Oh, I am good at it too.  That helps.  If I had all the money I would ever need, I would still work.  Just three days a week though, and come in later, maybe 10am.  I sought to be indispensable at my work place, I am as close as I will ever get, love it!  The day ends, I go to my (other) darling.

The weekend comes and the M-F crowd is shouting "Happy Friday!" across the halls.  They have been talking about Friday all week.  By the time it gets here I am tired of hearing how lovely Friday is.  I leave work to go home, do housework, read something beneficial to my Life, spend time with my wife, run and enjoy life...can you see the pressure?  I am NOT good at this part.  I do not relax well, I do not do any of this stuff well.  I enjoy my runs, the time we spend on the couch in the light of the TV etc, but each moment I am evaluating if I am making the most of this life, am I being a good steward of the gifts given to me?  Oh the stress!  By the time the sun goes down on Saturday I am ready for my life to be dictated by Outlook and Meeting Room manager!

My only woza is bedtime.  That I look forward to with longing and no trepidation.  No one needs to tell me its bedtime.  Give me bedtime over Friday any day.  I'll woza it and declare it darling.  Guess what, it comes everyday too!  Not once in every seven, HA!  Bedtime IS all that!