When I finished 7th grade, I knew I was headed to secondary school. When I finished 4th form, I knew I was going to high school by hook or by crook. When I finished 6th form, things got complicated...I could not immediately get into university; my grades were not good enough and the school was closed for a while. I tried other things and became introspective which led to despondent. I got some work to do and recklessly threw myself into it. I would not eat, did not sleep well, I injured myself over and over…eventually I made it into university then I left the country and blah blah blah.
After I graduated college I had a job lined up, I got my first raise before I started the job - pretty rad, right? I worked that job and have never looked for a job since then. My next job was offered to me. Given this history, now that I finished graduate school with nothing to do next I hearken back to my post high school despondency. But this time I am 'wise' enough to look at the whole picture and find myself once again pointless.
History was written in blood and ink, both pens and swords need keen points to be effective. I think they bore the term 'pointless'. Who writes with a blunt quill? Who wars with a dull blade? Only a utter fool. I have few friends, and some of those few have terrible struggles, but I do not cause them to hope in the Lord. In effect I give them nothing worthwhile. I guess my many 'non-friends' figured this out and sought better company. I told my wife we got married so that we help each other become better servants of Christ…wow! I believe that statement, I just do not always live it. If I am not serving the Lord with all my being then what am I worth? So it makes sense that everything else in life loses flavor. What good is a blunt quill or a dull sword?
Almighty God, only you can raise the dead. You raised a living army out of dry bones, I am one man. Make of me something useful to your kingdom, do with me something of eternal worth. Be my point!
Lord Jesus, you said you came so that we may have life to the full. You also said also your plans are to give us a future and a hope. Breathe your breath of Life in me that I would live fully, live with hope and purpose. Draw me in that I would find You when I seek You, and focus my heart that it would desire only You. I am tired of floundering I am so very tired of the way I am.
Ezekiel 37:1-14
Jeremiah 29:11-13
John 10:10
