Ministry is not God (with Scripture)

We are all called from our sin by the Gospel of Grace. Of the many called a few (the chosen) accept the free gift (1 Pet 2:9, Matt 22:14). According to God's pleasure, each of the chosen is given different spiritual gifts (Eph 4:7-13), different measures of faith (Rom12:3) and in light of those, each one has a different path to walk though we walk alongside one another and to the same destination (1 Cor 11:1). Like a track team on a bus, some run short distances and others run long distances, but we all run towards the same finish line. The Bible teaches us how we must live (2 Tim 3:16), how we must run the race (2 Tim 2:5) and in the running of the race all the gifts we were given come in handy BUT not for us, but for our service to others (Eph 4:7-13). If faith, faith is not for me, it is for the person running alongside me. If prayer it is so that I pray for them and not myself if a gift of teaching it is so I teach them and not for me (1 Cor 13*).

Teaching is a sticky one, but the same thing applies to any ministry - ministry is to God, for God, but it is NOT God. So as a minister of Jesus Christ, your place is to seek the Lord and He will supply the demands of the ministry (Matt 6:33). Sometimes, rather, often ministry will charge your life and take over so that you have little to no time to seek nourishment in the Lord. Sometimes ministers are so busy handing out the bread of life (Matt 14*, Jn 6:35) they do not take a mouthful themselves. Beware, for those who continue this way you will be destroyed by the ministry because you will harm if not lose your relationship with Christ and without that you are dangerous to the people you serve. Some have said ministers minister out of the ministry they have received from the Lord. Call me what you may, but my study of John's second letter does not go into the depth that my sermons on the same will cover. I might be wrong, but the personal study is vastly different from study to teach. I say instead ministers minister out of what they have received from the Lord because they sought Him concerning the sheep, but they need to seek Him for their own spiritual sustenance (Jn 6:35).

Seek first the kingdom of God to maintain a viable, lively, vital relationship with you, God. Then seek the kingdom of God concerning the sheep you serve. You have to do both or else you will die or poison the sheep. This applies to everyone regardless of your ministry in the church body/kingdom.

* - Scripture can be interpreted to apply to this situation.

Ministry is not God

We are all called from our sin by the Gospel of Grace, but of the many called, a few (the chosen) accept the free gift. According to God's pleasure, each of the chosen is given different spiritual gifts, different measures of faith and in light of those, each one has a different path to walk though we walk alongside one another and to the same destination. Like a track team on a bus, some run short distances and others run long distances, but we all run towards the same finish line. The Bible teaches us how we must live, how we must run the race and in the running of the race all the gifts we were given come in handy BUT not for us, but for our service to others. If faith, faith is not for me, it is for the person running alongside me. If prayer it is so that I pray for them and not myself if a gift of teaching it is so I teach them and not for me.

Teaching is a sticky one, but the same thing applies to any ministry - ministry is to God, for God, but it is NOT God. So as a minister of Jesus Christ, your place is to seek the Lord (Matt 6:33) and He will supply the demands of the ministry. Sometimes, often ministry will charge your life and attempt to take over so that you have little to no time to seek nourishment in the Lord. Sometimes ministers are so busy handing out the bread of life they do not take a mouthful themselves. Beware, for those who continue this way you will be destroyed by the ministry because you will harm if not lose your relationship with Christ. Some have said ministers minister out of the ministry they have received from the Lord. Call me what you may, but my study of John's second letter does not go into the depth that my sermons on the same covers. I might be wrong, but personal study is vastly different from study to teach. Now, I say ministers minister out of what they have received from the Lord because they sought Him concerning the sheep.

Seek first the kingdom of God to maintain a viable, lively, vital relationship with you, God. Then seek the kingdom of God concerning the sheep you serve. You have to do both or else you will die or the sheep will die. This applies to everyone regardless of your ministry in the church body/kingdom.

Exerpt from [another] email conversation - I have good friends

Him: Why is thinking about your ministry a bad thing? Are you discouraged?

Me: I am always finding reasons to question God's choice of servant. It takes me a while to get back to God's conversation with Moses in Exod 4 and retain a sense of equilibrium. It is not about deserving it, I just want to be better and when [since] I am not (getting better) I become confused and anxious and I do not have as good a grip on grace as I would like [to see me through] such times (or maybe I am just normal). 

Him: You're a healthy normal.  There's, unfortunately, an unhealthy normal that thinks they are God's gift and deserve accolades and success for their service.  We do well to remember that we are undeserving sinners and privileged to be called His own.  To be called into His service is even more of an honor. 

Lord, I want to go back, that is rarely a good thing. I am terrified of your calling and what it entails. I am willing to be made willing to go forth and do your will whatever it is. I ask for the grace to walk worthy of the calling of husband, church-member, and elder or pastor, I ask for the grace to enjoy the honor of service and that my wife, your people and I would glorify your name because of my good work.

Exerpt from an email to a friend...

Things with me are...confounding. I will tell you in an effort to sort through my thoughts. In advance I appreciate you being a 'willing' sounding board and would appreciate input: We have a guy teaching this January, a guy I am hoping the Lord would convince to stay. But...I see him rather helping me for a while and trying to mentor me. I see him permanently coming alongside to support us as a consultant or a coach - [which means] I would still have to be in the field playing. 

I currently serve out of duty: I am here, I am capable, and I love the people enough to do this for them. I am not sure if those reasons are enough to carry one through this very difficult job. In addition, in my last four sermons were things I have not applied to my life because I don't want to; because I like my freedoms too much because I am unwilling to die or to surrender all. I will gladly be in a coma or surrender most, dying seems too difficult.

Which makes me wonder, is our dying to the world and living in Christ a process or an instant? I think it is a process, I want it to be a process. If a process, then the question becomes am I dead enough to be a pastor - again serving out of duty. The few people I have told at work why I am so tired and what I do in my 'spare' time have been shocked. I cannot tell if it is a good shock - "I figured you were a believer I just did not realize you were so serious about the Lord!" or (like someone said to me in high school) "If you are a [pastor] then I have a really good chance to make it into heaven!" 

My dad said my shortcomings are God's business. I should focus on the task at hand. I agree, but the biggest distraction from the task at hand are my shortcomings. That about sums it up. I am currently ok with closing the doors, but I am quite sure it is not because the Lord commands it.

Thanks for checking in. I partly apologize for the loadout...Keep well, my friend. May the Lord bless you richly.