Whole hearted Membership

Jesus the Christ semi-quoting Moses said (paraphrased) the greatest commandment was to love the Lord with all of one’s heart, soul and strength.  If one love’s the Lord in this way, one will clearly love their neighbor; they will neither steal from, kill, lust after or envy said neighbour, nor worship any other gods.  Rather they will spend every moment in pursuit of the Lord and righteousness.  They will daily carry their cross and freely follow Him. Jesus the Christ came to be Emmanuel, God with us.  Here, daily; an ever present help in times of need.  Watching the greying and falling of hair from our heads.  Minutely and wholly loving and involved in our everything.  God of Heaven, Earth and Eternity in relationship with us: Emmanuel.

The sad reality of this wonderful theory in my life I will liken to my professional organizations.  I keep up with their rules so that I may still carry the card and work legally.  I do not read the email newsletters for a hundred reasons.  The ephemeral ‘they,’ named but faceless beings dictating what I should know, when and how so that I am ‘awarded’ a placard indicating that I have paid my dues, read the papers, took the little tests and met all the criteria to practice my craft safely.  I am like every other professional in the field, but I do not care about them, nor them about me. There is no relationship.  They do not care about my everyday.  My life or death is inconsequential.  I will only think of them, when some rule they set dictates that I write them to say I have read your books.  I paid what you asked, please send me my card.  I belong.

I enjoy church more now than I did before, I do go to meet with God now.  I used to go to meet the people He put there because I do not see them any other time.  It was a social event.  I barely made time to talk to God, I would say a few words of thanks when I woke up, while driving and then at random moments in the day.  Oh, and when things get bad of course!  I do read the letters; rarely do I see something new for me.  I know it applies to all of us, but for one watching my hair grow He should say something specific to me, church people call it, “word in season” I used to see those.  Not as often any more.  There is not my whole heart, soul, strength invested in Him.  I can not give an average percentage either. 

He still ‘owns’ my heart, He who speaks and I do not know if I hear.  He is to me the unmentioned, unthanked yet crucial placard without which I cannot be.

Where should I hang it, so I see it and remember?

Beautiful One

Many songs have been written about the beauty of the Lord.  Because I am mostly a man, my whole concept of beauty is physical and partly tainted by sexual attraction.  This has made it extremely difficult for me to imagine 'the beauty of the Lord' as I sing and/or think about it.

I ran yesterday, I ran in the cooling evening.  I ran into a sprinkler and it was wonderful.  As I ran I contemplated on this and suddenly very vivid ideas impinged upon me as I prayed that I would better see and/or comprehend the beauty of an ethereal being from a corporeal point of view.

I saw my mother's face about 24 years ago the morning I woke her and asked for permission to go to church.  She did not look shocked or surprised, but a little pleased.  She got up and helped me and my sister (and others) get ready, made us breakfast and all.  She could have had the maid do it, but she did it herself and saw us off.

I saw Eugene Muzavazi walking the halls at Selbourne Routledge, living his life in a manner that made me want to be like him.  It was the first time I absolutely wanted to be like another person.

I saw my parents let me off scot-free when I would not take part in my grandfathers burial rituals that I was sure were contrary to the Bible.  And then taking my side against their siblings, aunts and uncles.

I saw Youth in Touch camps, events and Sanktifyd Ganxta concerts!!

I saw my grandmothers see me off at the airport and remembered the words of their prayers for me.

I saw Cheryl, Scottie, Chris and Maya, Timmy, Tifiny, Dr Wise and a bunch others who helped me through college.

I saw Christian smile.  Borchards and Dibellas swam about.  Jeremy once again said, "Hey man!  Walk with me, let's talk."  And then my parents were talking to people in my church in Verona.

I saw John, and met Ramona.  I saw Nashe and Nakamura, Phil, Leila, Emily and many faces from the hospital.

In short I saw a collage of people - Xian and otherwise, whose will it was to love me and I glorified Him for it.  I saw events that led me to this moment, and His hand guiding each clock tick.  I saw the dead bird that reminded me that He cares enough to know when each one falls and cares more for me.  I smelt new rain and flowers I do not know, I saw mountains I may never climb and meadows I would love to roll in.  I saw wheat waving in the wind in Stuart Draft and tried to imagine the same thing in the Midwest...

I had to stop.  It was literally overwhelming.

For now, that is the beauty of the Lord, until I can see Him, know Him as I am seen and known.  I think that will do for now.  What does your collage look like?

Shut your Eyes

I love to sleep, we established that ages ago.  So when life is rough that wonderful thing is taken away from me.  Tired as I may get I find that I can not stop long enough to enjoy the only thing (I think) keeps me sane: shutting my eyes and flying...