Monday, May 20, 2013

How to pick a god by Dummies Part 1

When I was a little kid I went to visit my mom's uncle with my (even littler) brother. We slept in his son's room since he was away. We had a great time! I most likely enjoyed any time I was not at home. My brother found a test tube with some silver liquid in the bottom. It was crazy stuff, looked like metal but was liquid (did not know it yet). As we played it was getting colder and there seemed to be less and less of it, I told you crazy right? We cracked the test tube and tried to pick it up. It fell in little beads and for some we thought we could, but try as we might we could not pick it up with our hands, just when you thought you had a grip, it reminded you it was a liquid. Mercury. Crazy stuff!

So you want to find a god. This is an excellent thing for one to do, also very important. This is nothing like picking a shirt in a clearance rack or a ripe melon from your local Stuff-Mart. A good god will be served by you, for your benefit for a long time. Some even promise eternity, which means for ever. Here is what we advise, be reminded this list is not exhaustive and I will share why here shortly:

Exhaustive
A good deity is beyond cataloging, i.e there will never be a complete list of his/her attributes. They (the deity) should be infinite, not big, but HUGE! Mystery is good to add in here too. Who wants a deity they can figure out in a week? Get a DVD player, you can know its ins and outs and you can give it your life for a few hundred dollars. A deity needs to be totally incomprehensible though partly comprehensible.

Domain
No one wants some little league local power. That will be like a regional cellphone company, you are in a world of hurt if your car breaks out of state, you have to wait until dark to use the free nighttime minutes. When it comes to deity, you need constant access anywhere. This ensure great reception, when you are in a fix, help is at hand. When you need to say something that can't wait, you can say it. No more waiting until you get back home.


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