Help my unbelief

I watched a movie called "The Island"; the story of a Russian monk who continuously pranks his fellow monks, breaks rules and is haunted by a sin of his youth for which he constantly prays for forgiveness. He desires to help people, but has some weird ideas of how to do that. I quit the movie when he burned his superior's shoes and started acting too crazy. According to the excerpt, he is lo plagued by the thought that he is a fraud - he is instrumental in some miracles and his prayers for people are answered, but here he is an insolent, chronic jerk!

The world wants to see the perfection of Christ in us. I want the same for myself, but when we fail we are 'hypocrites' for preaching what we cannot do. I speak as a man - I agree. The rub, however is that Christ in us compels the desire for what is good and right in spite of our inability to always deliver. Paul discusses this in Romans chapter 7. The redeemed of the Lord desire to do His will, but we are bound to sin by our flesh. Peter writes in 1 Peter 2:11 that the desires of the flesh "wage war"against the desires of the Spirit of the Lord in us. Paul says in Romans 7:24-25 "Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" It is difficult to comprehend how God can calls us to be His representatives in the Earth and leaders in His body when He knows full well our short-comings which will hinder the mission. I would not pick me, but He did. I am not a good person! I am lazy and rebellious. I am self centered and petty. I am twisted and callous. He knows my potential for good and evil...yet He still calls me and daily draws me closer to Him. I know my reasonable response - serve Him with all my heart, soul and mind, become a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1), I also know (to my severe shame) how often the sacrifice will walk off the altar and off the reservation then come back to its senses and repent only to do it all again and again and again and again. 

As the father in Mark 9:24 said, "I believe Lord, but help my unbelief." I believe that you called me to be your ambassador upon the Earth, a spiritual leader in my home and a leader in your local body, but help my unbelief that You would choose me of all people. I believe, but help my unbelief.