I grew up being told what to do and how to do it. For so long I worked to the pleasure of the people around me and those in authority over me. Somewhere along the way I lost a firm sense of what I actually like. Rarely do I know what I want. I refrain from having an opinion about things. If I have answers they are so deeply repressed in me I cannot unearth them.
I know I love my wife. I know Jesus is the Christ. I know science is my end. I know I love motorcycles. Nothing on the 'significant' stuff whatever that is.
I have 'trained' to be a maze-man. I go where the path leads. When its blocked I turn around and redo the section until I make it out. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 95:5, "You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me." My comprehension of this text, in conjunction with Acts 17:26, the Lord determined where I would be born, when and where I would live in every stage of my life. The verse in Psalms says to me in addition to determining my bounds the Lord directs which way I go. You know the adage, "When God closes a door, He opens a window"? That is exactly how maze-men live, we go along the corridor path and look out for exits.
The goods on maze-men is we learn to trust and hopefully settle in that trust. The bad is we have no idea how to deal with more than one exit. And when someone asks for an opinion, we have none. Maybe it's just me.
Is it acceptable? I am not sure. Maybe for a season, not thirty odd years; it's ridiculous at that stage! Isn't it? How does one fix it? Is it even something that needs to be fixed?
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