SCREAM!

In retrospect yesterday's strangeness lines up. I had a usual Sunday. Went to church even though I did not want to, enjoyed it more than I thought I would. (I never regret going). I left the crowd for my car and book, read while wifey finished her stuff. We went home and I 'rocked' Enya and cooked all day until we left and went to Uth.

I was asked my God-dream once. Teaching the Word was first. I have only always taught things I understood. With the Word, it is a little different. You teach not because you get it all. My favourite moments are when revelation comes during the teaching. With the Uth, I have them share too and I learn a lot from them. Their ride was late, so we had time to hang out. That is when I felt it - I needed to scream, I couldn't. I had something bugging me, I could not place my finger on it, so I ran the other way and settled in Goofy.

Ever feel the need to scream? What do you do? If I can, I let it out. I find the voice to carry it without irritating my vocal chords. If I can I go and run, play Need for Speed or watch something violent - Blade Trinity, Unleashed, Resident Evil...something... like that. If I am driving I honk when no one is close. Loooong and drawn out, like my pent up what-ever-is-eating-me. I resorted to that while we were driving home, I was still in Goofy because the alternative was...well, you will see but I needed the scream, I didn't want to share the why and stuff ( I usually do not. That should change). So I honked...and I was shut down!

I went the other way, got home, straight to sleep. The only way I have found to shut off my brain is with a sledgehammer. Instead of facing me, sometimes I run and hide.