The world has changed a lot these last three decades. Granted I have moved to the Western hemisphere, life and times move a lot faster the closer you get to MTV (geographically and otherwise). I was raised in a place and time where virtue was, well virtuous and sought after. Society was strict, right and wrong were explicit. Accordingly, deviance was frowned upon. Its presence a source of shame, and so it was kept in the shadows. I grew up and find now this was a child's eye view of my world. As one matures, one finds that "It is a grayer and more complicated world than...ever imagined" (Heaven Lake, John Dalton).
Not only have the lines between right and wrong become blurry, the times are such that deviance is a badge worn with pride. I confess, it is difficult to define what should be a source of pride and what should bring shame. So much has changed in the last century. So many norms have been challenged and refuted. It is not entirely surprising that we have come to this point. Like the squeaky wheel, the deviant's cause is at least seen, due to the way they distinguish themselves they are more visible.
What bothers me is this: I am a decent man whose mind is plagued by mischief. The complication this presents is that I do not know who I am true to. The absence of this kind of truth in my thoughts limits their efficient expression into action, hence I am wholly half-hearted. Part of me is glad I am awarded the grace to somewhat contain my darkness, yet part of me longs to let all of me hang out, to wear deviance and virtue on my sleeves and say, "Hello world. This is who I am inside and (now) out." In such a state I do not creep about, I concede to my deviance and my virtue. I think it will lead to a more honest me. That in turn I hope will produce the passion for life that I yearn. Maybe I will be able to have some fun, even say "Woohoo!" once in a while.
Not only have the lines between right and wrong become blurry, the times are such that deviance is a badge worn with pride. I confess, it is difficult to define what should be a source of pride and what should bring shame. So much has changed in the last century. So many norms have been challenged and refuted. It is not entirely surprising that we have come to this point. Like the squeaky wheel, the deviant's cause is at least seen, due to the way they distinguish themselves they are more visible.
What bothers me is this: I am a decent man whose mind is plagued by mischief. The complication this presents is that I do not know who I am true to. The absence of this kind of truth in my thoughts limits their efficient expression into action, hence I am wholly half-hearted. Part of me is glad I am awarded the grace to somewhat contain my darkness, yet part of me longs to let all of me hang out, to wear deviance and virtue on my sleeves and say, "Hello world. This is who I am inside and (now) out." In such a state I do not creep about, I concede to my deviance and my virtue. I think it will lead to a more honest me. That in turn I hope will produce the passion for life that I yearn. Maybe I will be able to have some fun, even say "Woohoo!" once in a while.
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