Now I am curious - from what I know I am hard-working, faithful, good, kind, funny blah blah. I talked to a friend about the difference between children behaving well and children knowing right and wrong. Many of us are outwardly sorted, we know how to behave well though our innards are wretched.
My desire is that Jesus would cure the bad water from the aquifer, that he would cure the wild vine, from the root up to the branches. I might be outwardly decent, passable at best but my inwards self is so wretched and it is not because the Bible tells me so. My thoughts and some of the things I think I would want to; ok, check this: consider something you think you would love to do and then watching it happen to someone else and your stomach turns. That is me, and I know without the restraining of the Holy Spirit I would likely be out trying to do all those sick-inducing things I think of...losing my point.
I pray that the gap between who I want to be/who people say I am and who I am in the lonely dark would be smaller and smaller as time goes.
Dear Lord, I am tired and never seem replenished. Why is that?
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