"Do you ever 'feel' rested? I think I am a wimp for saying this (because you have a LOT more going on than I do), I feel like a thin cloth with very little left before structural failure. I like to think that is where His strength is made perfect, but sometimes I wonder if that is accurate. You guys (and others) have repeatedly told me to rest [after graduate school], but I wonder if I am able to. Physical inactivity and hours of brain candy are not necessarily resting."
I was reminded of Bilbo Baggins in The Fellowship of the Ring (movie), "I'm old, Gandalf. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel... thin. Sort of stretched, like... butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday. A very long holiday."
The holiday I was taking before the email helped, but it takes ever-shortening times at work and all of life to get back to that thin feeling. It is as if 'thin' is the equilibrium state the system desires.
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