I have talked about contentment before, the need to settle. I found myself thinking of it in a different word - satisfaction. I was praying that the Lord would satisfy me, that my job, my wife, my life would be enough. It is strange to point this out but worthwhile; I am not necessarily asking for more, I only want enough you see. But then I wonder, is the satisfaction a moving target such that enough today is not adequate in a month? With the money, I can see that happening. What about with the rest of it? Does my marital, spiritual, social, recreational satisfaction depreciate like the dollar or my tangible toys? Or do their immaterial nature exclude then from reduction?
If it were enough I should enjoy it more, right? And I would know it is enough, it is all I can handle and that would be great. How could one ask for more? Right now I always wonder if it can be different, better and how. I just want to be okay, to have enough, to have serenity concerning all of it. I do not know how to get there from here.
~ O ~
"I want the frim fram sauce with the oss and fay, and shifafa on the side." -
lyric by Redd Evans sung by Nat King Cole.
“You see, I want a lot.
Perhaps I want everything:
the darkness that comes with every infinite fall
and the shivering blaze of every step up.
So many live on and want nothing...”
- Rainer Maria Rilke, Rilke's Book of Hours: Love Poems to God
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