Eugene

I was young and impressionable.  I was in a brand new world.  Lost, plagued by inferiority.  Small, pushed about yet still trying to make a name for myself.  Working hard to fit in some place with some one, anyone.

He was tall, dark, blast the cliche handsome.  The little school girls loved him.  We little school boys too.  As much as we loved him we feared him.  He walked bolt straight.  Did I mention he was tall?  A tall man's posture is a lot more pronounced than a shorter one.  I never saw him slouch, or walk with drooped shoulders.  He wore a long, sure stride.  Usually smiled; he was human and had bad days.  On most days he smiled.  He was an accountant.  Guess what I wanted to be at that point and for the next 6 years of my life?  Accountant or actuary. I did not just want to be like this man, I almost wanted to be him.  If God worked the miracles I almost heard at the church were the guy preached with his back to the kids, maybe he will make me get tall and handsome too.  Then I can be a successful accountant like Eugene, and I can drive a nice car and...fancies of a little boy.

One Saturday afternoon I did not want to play with the other kids.  Eugene was the duty teacher and I asked to stay in the dorm and read.  He permitted it.  That evening after we watched a movie and everyone went to bed I do not remember exactly why, but he called me and another boy, Samuel into his room.  It was neat, yellow lights, plenty of books...I remember that much.  Eugene told us about Jesus Christ and about the church he took kids to on Sundays.  He asked if we wanted to go.  I agreed to go but I had to get a paper signed by my parents.  Which meant waiting for exeat weekend when they would pick me up.  It was a week away, but I spoke to my dad on the phone by some fluke and he came and signed the paper.  It was set, the Sunday after I got back from exeat I was going to church with Eugene.  He gave me a year old, leather bound diary I used as a notebook for many years afterwards.

I did not know what to expect, but I hoped to find an answer to the mystery of Eugene.  I wanted what he had, I wanted his life style. The joy, the respect he commanded, the love he had for most kids.  He whistled in the hallways! Nobody did that.  Only good for nothings whistled, but this man who was far from a good for nothing whistled in the hallways after lights out!  That is what I wanted - joy, peace, confidence, belonging.

I went to church every weekend I was at school.  I begged to go to camp and was finally allowed to go.  I gave my life to the Lord so that I would be like the flannel board David - well groomed and smiling with his sword.  They promised the Lord would fight my battles for me.  I would victor over giants (flannel board Goliath with warts and all).  I thought bullies, He meant other, bigger, scarier giants.  If I trusted in Jesus, they said, I would turn out on top.  We even sang about it, "...no weapon against me shall prosper, because I know who I am.  Yeah I am washed in the blood of the Lamb...I know who I am in Jesus, I am the head and not the tail...above and not beneath!  I have the mind of Christ..."  I went to camp, received the Holy Spirit.  I spoke in tounges.  I prayed in tounges, still do.

I left the school when I was done there.  Eugene's life got tumultuous, you could see the difference in him.  He left the school.  But while he was, we became 'friends' and he told me where he worked.  Said I could call on him.  One day after 2-3 years I did.  He had changed his name.  Married a divorcee (which was frowned upon).  His stride was shorter.  The smile in his eyes was mostly gone.  It took effort to speak to me, I got the distinct impression he wanted to forget Selbourne Routledge so I said goodbye and that was it.

He had been sifted like wheat; as we all are at some point.  It took the smile out of him, I hope still for a spark of faith.  I do not know, His Saviour knows.  He knows Eugene's name and from whence he came, and He is faithful to keep what Eugene entrusted to Him until that Day.  He will do the same for Xian, and Promise and David and many others, if that spark remains.  I am sure He will fan it to flame, I know He would never put it out.

I got what Eugene had, I got to meet His Master and I love Him more than I ever loved.  Every once in a while my dad would bring news about Eugene.  Even that became scarce until it too died.  I have my own identity now.  I will never forget the man who showed me Christ.