People will/should never be classified. We do not fit neatly in boxes like books or cigars. Slave ships tried stacking humans and killed quite a lot of them in the process. We need room, odd shaped spaces in which to live and stretch and be.
I tend to like to be alone. When not alone I would like to be surrounded by a select group, that selection may vary with my mood. I do not like crowds. I faced that fear by public speaking. I still do not like crowds. I do not easily attach to people, so most new to me would say I am aloof. I concur. It takes a lot to get close to me, mostly because I do not know how to be close. I am great at being emotionally vague and unaffected. It is easier. When I do attach I do not like the distance that time will surely bring, talked about this before.
It has come up because an old flame is recently engaged. I am thrilled for her, and the lucky dude. Why does part of me say with Ray, "It should have been me?" I rejected her - too little too late in the day I said to her. And prayed that she would love, really love. And here she has and I want a party invite, a place of honour and...what the..?
It is easier to be distant. Easier to be aloof. Easier not to care, for in caring I find unsavoury things.
One day I went to look for myself, what I found was disturbing.
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