A friend of mine advised me to let go (of some troubling issues) and have fun. I chuckled to myself because I do not think I am capable of having fun.
In my mind, having fun involves one stripping off caution, hair-ties, self consciousness and at times decorum to fully enjoy an event, be it music, a downhill bike ride, a drive, conversation, movie, you name it. Fun involves stepping away from things I cannot leave for more than half a moment. Nothing I know is fun within half a moment! By the time it starts I am back in a "No Fun Allowed" state my little hourglass is up and I am busy processing. So despite doing things I love, I can not taste them enough to go "WOOHOO!" with any gusto. I am young and sadly do not recall a carefree day in my life. In every instance I am relaying my surroundings to my mind, making sure I am looking as well as possible, getting the most (information) out of the occasion, saying the sharpest, wittiest thing and thinking of the next, adjusting my hair without being vain, sounding intelligent without being snobbish, paying attention to everyone equally, defusing any potentially injurious statements and more - so many background processes are running I am incapable of savouring this moment I am working so hard to perfect.
When was the last time you went, "Woohoo!"?
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